Well,That's Interesting
by Jessy-J05
Summary: A Hair drying experience goes haywire and poor Emily is knocked unconscious by the electric shock. When she awakes, She finds herself in a strange new land, with a strange young man who claims he is an elf. R&R, no flames please :) THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT
1. When Hair Dryers Attack

Chapter One  
  
"I really hate these stupid plug things." I mumbled to myself as I tried to plug in her hair dryer. I felt a weird tingly feeling, noticing I touched the metal part, before I fell to the ground.  
  
"That's it! I'm never using a hair dryer again." I said holding my head. Opening my eyes I realized I wasn't in my bathroom. "HOLY shit! Where am I?" No one was around as far as I could see. I was in the middle of a forest it seemed, deep in it for that matter. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Em...." I said to myself walking around.  
  
Hearing a noise, I turned quickly around. "Oh please don't let it be a bear or a cougar or anything else that would try to eat me..." I said freaking out more than before. Where the hell was I? I never saw any forests like this in Indiana. I heard the noise again. "Oh come on I wanna go home now... if this is a dream, WAKE ME UP!"  
  
"My lady..." I heard a voice behind me say making me scream. "Sorry to frighten you."  
  
Hoping it wasn't a mass murdering freak, I turned around. To my relief, it was a young looking man with blonde hair and pointed ears. "Er... Hi... Can you maybe tell me where I am?"  
  
"Why, Mirkwood, of course." The young man laughed.  
  
"Uh.. Right. And that would be...?" I said wondering why he was so amused. This guy was weird. I mean, sure he wasn't hard on the eyes, but his personality was... odd. Plus, who has ears like that?  
  
"Are you lost my lady?" the man said looking me up and down. I still had my pajamas on.  
  
"Lost, drunk, asleep. Who knows... " I said looking around trying to figure everything out. "The last thing I remember was I was trying to plug in my stupid sheet cake of a hair dryer and I got zapped or something.. Then I woke up in the middle of this place."  
  
I had confused the man I guess, because he stared at me strangely. "So yeah.. If you could just show me how to get home, I'd really like that."  
  
"Where do you live?" he asked, still trying to figure me out.  
  
"Indianapolis."  
  
"Where is that country?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.  
  
"Country? It's a city... you know the capital of Indiana... in the United States of America..." I said. Really what's with this guy. Where is that country... Wow he must have flunked a few grades....  
  
"I do not know of where you speak."  
  
"Great. I get woodland boy to find me and not even know where Indiana is. Special." I said sitting on the ground annoyed.  
  
"Excuse me, but my name is not 'woodland boy'. My name is Legolas. And for your information, I am the prince of Mirkwood." he said to me rolling his eyes.  
  
"Okay then... Prince Legolas, tell me what country or state or world I'm on, since Indiana doesn't register with you."  
  
"Middle Earth." He said walking closer to me."What is your name?"  
  
"Emily, and where?" Middle Earth? What the frick is Middle Earth? I thought the middle of the earth was the core of boiling hot lava.  
  
"You know not what Middle Earth is? How long have you been out here My lady? You must have heat stroke." Legolas said coming closer to me.  
  
"Yeah no I don't. Sorry, but nice try. Play again." I said backing away. Geeze what was this dude's problem? 


	2. Santa and Sauron?

Chapter 2  
  
"So.. eh .. yeah.. Where should I go? Or should I just stand here, in the forest.." I said looking around seeing if there were any bears or anything else that could possibly tear me up into little tiny bite sized pieces.  
  
"I'm sorry Miss, I can not leave you out here alone. Orcs are always around." the pointed eared guys said still coming closer.  
  
"Orcs? And that would be a.... evil dog?", I said backing up some more.   
  
"Orcs are... " he started to say but then stopped and stared out in the distance.   
  
"Uhm, earth to woodland boy? Did you just have a fit or something?" I said waving my hand in front of his face.  
  
"Stop, I hear Orcs, about 20 miles away." He said grabbing my hand. "We must make haste and leave this place." He said hopping on his horse. "You shall go with me."  
  
"Yeah yeah you heard something 20 miles away. Sure ya did. I'll believe that one. I knew you were some crazy killer. And make haste? Who talks like that anymore? I will not... hey put me down!" I screamed as he pulled me on to his horse and we being riding away.  
  
"My lady, please be more quite, unless you want all of the Orcs in Middle Earth to hear you." He said giving me a stern look. Dang this dude was uptight. Must have just got dumped or something. I can see why, the chic probably couldn't stand him being so anal all the time.  
  
"Enough with the my lady stuff Lanceolot. My name is Emily."  
  
"It's Legolas, and sorry Miss Emily. My, that is an odd name. Can't say I've heard it before."  
  
"Oh what and Legolas isn't? What kind of messed up parent names their kid Legolas?" I said getting more evil glares. "Sorry.. Didn't know your name was such a touchy subject."  
  
Three hours later  
  
"So... Leggy... Where are we going anyway?" I said trying to break the silence. This guy doesn't talk much.  
  
"It's Legolas, miss. We're going to Rivendell. To see Lord Elrond, he has something of a urgent manner."   
  
"Riverdale? Isn't that were Josie and the Pussycats are from?" I said getting another very annoyed look for Legolas. "What? Sorry..."  
  
"Rivendell. Another Elvish city, like Mirkwood."  
  
"Elvish? Like Santa's little helpers? Or the elves that live in trees and make cookies.. The short, fat, jolly guys." After I said this, Legolas stopped his horse, and turned around looking me straight in the face.  
  
"What are you speaking of? I am an elf, we are tall, graceful, and thin. I've never heard of an elf that was short, fat, and this jolly word. And who is this Santa? Is he an ali of Sauron?" Legolas said with a angry face.  
  
"Calm down! You're gonna give yourself a heart attack." I said shaking my head. Dude this guy was more high strung that I thought.  
  
"I can not have one. I am an Elf. Elves do not suffer the aliments of men." He said turning back around and motioning the horse to go.   
  
"Sure you're an elf. And I'm a mind reader." Once again this made him stop the horse. I need to choose my words more carefully around this guy. 


	3. Woodland boy no know Burger King

Forgot to add the disclamer before.. I own nothing but Emily.. I don't own LOTR or anything else.. so.... yeah..

Chapter 3  
  
"You can read minds? You're an ally of Sauron aren't you? You're trying to find the ring!" Legolas said pulling me off the horse.  
  
"First, ouch that fricking hurt, secondly who the hell is this Sauron dude, and thirdly, no neither me or Santa are allies with him. And what are you talking about a ring? What does a ring have to do with any of this stuff?" I said getting very annoyed with his little mood problems. "And I was just kidding about the mind reading stuff. It was a sarcastic remark, because you said that you were an elf, and there are no such things as elves."  
  
"Miss Emily, I do believe you about not being an ally of Sauron. But why do you keep saying I am not an elf and that elves are not real?" Legolas asked me helping me back on the horse. " And my apologies for pulling you off."  
  
"Whatever you say woodland boy." I said as he hopped back on. If this guy wasn't hot, I would have so jumped off the horse."Hey is there anything to eat around here? Like a McDonald's or a Burger King?"  
  
"A what or what?"   
  
"Oh so sorry forgot you DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. Is there any kind of food anywhere around her?" Geeze this elf man boy was kinda really starting to annoy me.   
  
"Excuse me? Is that anyway to talk to a prince?" Legolas said getting an angry tone to his voice.  
  
"Oh so sorry your royal hindass.."  
  
"Miss Emily."  
  
"Sorry. Legolas, may I please have something to eat? I would much appreciate it." I said smiling fake as I could.   
  
"Thank you. I have some Lembas bread, if you would like some." He said reaching in his bag and pulling out a piece of hard bread like stuff wrapped in a leaf.  
  
"What bread?" I said taking it. "Hey this is kinda good. Thanks Lego." Ahh so fun to annoy him.   
  
"Legolas...oh I give up." He said shaking his head. "You may call me whatever you wish My Lady."  
  
"Wow, you made a joke! Your first joke! This has to be some kind of event. The serious no fun elf dude makes a joke! Call the newspapers..." I said as he laughed and shook his head.


	4. Orcs and the Queen of England

Chapter 4  
  
"So, what's it like to be a prince? Any perks?" I said after another long period of silence. There's gotta be a way to get this dude to talk more.  
  
"What do you mean perks?"  
  
"Like... things you get cause you're royal.. Or things you can do. That kinda thing."  
  
"Well Miss Emily..." he started before he was interrupted by 4 black nasty looking things jumped out in front of us. Well then Leggy went nuts shooting the hell out of them with his arrows.   
  
"HOLY CRAP WHAT ARE THOSE!?!?" I said after they were all dead.  
  
"Those are orcs. See why I couldn't leave you now? Miss Emily? Hello?" He said turning back looking at me. In shock would be a good term for what I was. "Are you alright my lady?" Well that woke me up.  
  
"Those things are icky.. And gross.. And scary. I'm starting to believe you about this whole Middle Earth thing, cause I know for sure there aren't any of those things where I came from..."  
  
"So do you believe me about being an elf?" He said as we started riding again. Again with the elf thing. I knew this guy was crazy.   
  
"If you're an elf, I'm the Queen of England." I said meaning to be a sarcastic remark. But no, this dude takes everything seriously.  
  
"You're a Queen? I've never heard of this England place before, and you're not dressed as a queen should, Miss Emily."   
  
"No... That was sarcasm. You should learn it. Then maybe you wouldn't be so dang uptight all the time."   
  
"What is sarcasm?" He asked as we came to a creek. "We'll stop here for the night."  
  
"Never mind what sarcasm is, you wouldn't understand." I said getting rather annoyed. I really don't understand this guy. Thinks Santa is an evil ally to some weird Sauron dude, and keeps bringing up some ring. Maybe his dad used to own a jewelry store, and got robbed by a guy in a Santa costume. That would explain a lot... "Do you have any other clothes? Cause I'm kinda not exactly dressed for this little camping trip." 


	5. Camp fire songs and new findings

Chapter 5  
  
"I have clothes yes, but no women's garments." he said grabbing his bag.  
  
"Okay that's fine with me. I'm freezing so anything is better than this." I said as he handed me some green legging like things and a darker green shirt. "What are you a ballet dancer?"  
  
"Excuse me miss?"   
  
"Nevermind. I'm going to go change." I said walking away shaking my head. How much longer can I stand this guy? Just remember.. He's hot, so he might have hot friends. I went behind a tree to change, and I was getting ready to put my shirt on when guess who, woodland boy comes running around the tree. "WHAT THE HELL! LOOK AWAY!" I screamed as he turned and I put the shirt on quickly.  
  
"I saw nothing my lady." I said noticing a shake in his voice. Yeah he saw nothing, suuuure he didn't. "We can not camp yet. I heard a party of Orcs about 10 miles away. We must move quickly." Well he didn't have to tell me twice. I was in no hurry to run into those ugly things again. I picked up my clothes and we ran back to the horse and jumped on.   
  
After about 2 hours of really fast horse riding, Legolas stopped and jumped off the horse.  
  
"Uhm.. What about the Orc party of bazillion? Shouldn't we keep riding?" I said confused.   
  
"We have lost them. I have not heard them for an hour. They turned into the west." He said taking his stuff of the horse and helping me down.  
  
"So we can stay at this place and not be made dinner?"  
  
"Yes Miss Emily, I do believe so." he said as he started to build a fire.   
  
"Oo we can sing camp fire songs!!" I said happily. Finally, something fun to do to annoy woodland boy.   
  
"Oh songs, I do much enjoy music. Please do sing." He said sitting on a rock looking quite pleased for a change. Oh boy I'd change that mood... Ahh being annoying is such fun.  
  
5 minutes later  
  
"66 bottles of beer on the wall, 66 bottles of beer. Take one down pass it around, 65 bottles of be..." I sang until he finally interrupted me. Wow it took him a while to crack.  
  
"Miss Emily, do you know any other songs that aren't so... vile?" He said giving me an annoyed look. Ah the annoyed look, my job is done. I guess I could be nice to the poor guy for a while.  
  
"Why don't you try? I'll think of a better one later." I said as he smiled. Drool... ah oops..er I mean... stupid woodland boy...   
  
"I guess I could sing one of my favorites." He said closing his eyes as he started to sing. I could do nothing but stare in awe. It was in a different language that I had never heard before, but it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. So woodland boy was hot and could sing. Ah what am I saying? I can't like this guy, I don't even know him. He stopped singing and smiled at me. Wait, did he just smile at me? No way... I've never gotten a smile like that, mostly just annoyed looks...  
  
"Miss Emily have you checked your reflection lately? You might believe in what I am once you see what you are." He said with the same smile. What was he talking about? I reached my hand up to pull my hair behind my ears and noticed something. Something very very strange. 


	6. What's so great about being an elf?

Chapter 6  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?" I screamed making Legolas jump. Why were my ears pointy? "Do you have a mirror something? Cause I think I'm loosing it."  
  
"There's a stream right over their Miss Emily, you should be able to see your reflection." he said as I ran to the stream. Oooooh my gosh....  
  
"Wait... what... how..." I shuddered out as I looked at my reflection. My ears were now pointy like his, my hair had turned lighter and had little braids in it. My face had also changed slightly.   
  
"You're an elf My lady." Legolas said laughing at the look on my face.   
  
"How can I be something THAT'S NOT REAL?" I said still looking at my reflection. "And why am I still short and not skinny? You said elves are tall and lean or something."  
  
"That I do not know." He said looking at me strangely and then smiling again. "If you had big feet you could pass for a hobbit." he said laughing.  
  
"Oh laugh it up woodland boy. And what's a hobbit? I do not have big feet thank you very much." I said looking down at my size 6 feet. Big feet my butt.   
  
"I said if you did Miss Emily. A hobbit is a short being with large, hairy feet." he said still laughing at me. Well I wish I knew what the hell he thought was so funny.  
  
"When did this happen? When did my ears get all... pointy like? And my hair... believe me I'm not complaining about it, but it's lightened about 3 shades! I can't believe this.. I"ve turned into something that's not real... no I'm just asleep.. This whole thing is a dream... " I said rambling walking back and forth as Legolas continued to laugh. "WHAT IS SO FUNNY?"  
  
"I think you need some rest my lady." he said trying not to laugh. Gosh what did woodland boy do to me? He turned me into a freaking elf. But elves aren't real. AH I'm so damn confused.   
  
"Sleep? SLEEP? How can I sleep when I've just become a fairy tale creature? AND I know you didn't just call me "my lady" again? I thought I told you to stop with that crap." I said screaming until I was crying. Oh heck, there goes the waterworks. Once I start I can't stop. "I just want to know what's going on." I said through my tears.  
  
"Don't be sad Miss Emily. Being an elf is a wonderful thing." he said with an emotionless face. Cold hearted party of one, your table is now ready...  
  
"Yeah, what's so great about being an elf?" I shot back. 


	7. Fall out of trees hurts

Chapter 7  
  
"Well there are many wonderful things about being an elf Miss Emily." Legolas said sitting down next to me.  
  
"But look at my ears! They're all pointy and stuff... I'm never going to get a date to Prom like this.. And I can totally forget about wearing my hair up." I cried and he put his arm around me trying to comfort me. Well at least I think he was. Either that or he was hitting on me. Pervy pointy ear woodland boy. Just like guys too, try to get in a girls pants when they're down..  
  
"Please don't cry Miss Emily." he said looking at me. Wow! He looked like he had feeling in his face. Well that's a first for this dude.  
  
"I'm just so confused... How can I be something that's not real!" I said putting my face in my hands.   
  
"I still do not understand why you will not believe what you are. It doesn't make sense to me. Why do you not accept me and what you have become?" Legolas said looking at me with a questioning face. Gosh what was with this guy. ELVES ARE NOT REAL!  
  
"Um because elves are made up fairy tale people, who help out Santa Clause and build toys. Either that or make cookies and crackers. I've never heard of a slim, tall, beautiful elf." I said only after realizing what I had just said. I called him beautiful. DANG IT.   
  
"This is the second time you've mentioned Santa. Who is he?"  
  
"Well, where I come from there's this made up story for little kids that you tell. It's about this jolly old fat dude named Santa who brings presents to good little boys and girls on Christmas Eve. And the elves build the toys for him and help him out. Where I come from that's what elves are. Not what you claim to be. So how can I believe you?" I said shaking my head. Dude what is up with this guy. He's started to sound like a real stoner. That or he's just looney. Maybe both. Legolas just shook his head.  
  
"Miss Emily is there anything I could do to prove to you that I'm an Elf? And that you're of elvish kind now too?" Legolas said standing up. "Wait I have an idea." he said as he started to climb a tree. What was with this dude? He climbed up on to a branch that was about an half inch thick. Great woodland boy is gonna break his neck..  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. That's pretty thin, and you're skinny but come on..." I said as he stood up on the branch. "How in the hell...branch not breaking..." I said completely confused.  
  
"See Miss Emily? If I were human I would be far to heavy. Would you like to try?" Legolas said reaching down his hand. Before I could think of what I was doing I reached out my hand and he pulled me up.  
  
"No freaking way!" I said as we were both standing on the branch. "Okay maybe I believe you now..." I said as the branch started to bend.  
  
"Miss Emily be carful..." Legolas started to say as I fell off the branch.  
  
"Damn that hurt..." I said rubbing my back. That's really going to leave a mark.  
  
"Miss Emily!" Legolas said jumping down and helping me up. "Are you okay?" he said. Wow he sounded worried. Odd... from cold heartless biatch to nice guy.   
  
"Yeah I'm fine..." I said as he smiled. Breathe Emily. Don't fall for this guy. Oh wait, I already did. Dang...  
  
"You want to see something?" Legolas said as I nodded. Why not? He already proved the whole elf thing which really hadn't sunk in yet. Legolas smiled and proceeded to climb to the top of the tree by jumping on tiny little branches. Dude he's like a monkey... but hot. STOP EMILY! Me no can thinky he's hottie.. Legolas climbed back down and stood beside me.  
  
"So what's something else cool about being an elf. Besides the whole light thing." I said looking at him.  
  
"Well, we're immortal." Legolas said sitting down on a log.  
  
"Like you can never die?" I said in awe. Never die.. That might be kinda cool. Hmm this elf thing is starting to look like a good thing.  
  
"Well the only way we can die is in battle or from sorrow." Legolas answered.  
  
"Sorrow? I didn't know someone could die from being sad." I said looking at him. His face showed a little more emotion as I said this.  
  
"When an elf loses someone they deeply and truly love... "Legolas started, but was interrupted by a falling acorn landing on his head making me laugh.  
  
"But why was I made into an elf?" I asked as Legolas took off his bow and quiver. 


	8. Come on down to Sauron Saturn!

Chapter 8  
  
"That I am not sure of." Legolas said picking up a rock and skipping it across the water. "I have never seen such a thing before. A human becoming an elf. I hope Lord Elrond will be able to find out a reason."  
  
"So why are we going to Rivendell?" I said picking up a rock and trying to skip it across the pond, but it just sank. Damn, even if I'm an elf, I still don't have skills..  
  
"Lord Elrond has sent for me. He says it's a very urgent matter. I do not know what it is, but I have felt a darkness that I cannot explain for quite a time. I think Sauron has something to do with the issue..." Legolas said as his face became stern.  
  
"Sauron? Sounds like a car salesman... Here at Sauron Saturn you can get a new car for only $10,000!" I said then remembering Legolas probably didn't know what a car was. I guess I was right cause he gave me another one of his 'what the hell you talking about' looks. I'm pretty used to them. "Don't ask.. So who's this Sauron dude.. I think you said something earlier about him. Something about a ring.. And thinking Santa was his ally.. But we don't wanna bring that back up..."  
  
"Sauron was a dark lord a very long time ago." Legolas said looking at the ground. This subject must really be a downer for him... "He created a ring. And into it he wheeled all of his evil powers and hopes to destroy all that is good. His power to control all life."  
  
"Wait a minute.. How can a ring control everything? That sounds like something out of a fantasy book." I said looking at him strangely. Hm maybe he'd watched to much Sci-Fi channel and warped his mind. Ah oh well...  
  
"You may not think such an object can rule, but it can. If it has such power made into it, anything can hold such a position. Sauron was defeated, but men took the ring and the evil of Sauron lived on in this one ring."  
  
"So this meeting thing is about a ring?" I said still confused.  
  
"I said it could be Miss Emily." Legolas said standing up.  
  
"Legolas, why are you so sad all the time?" I asked looking up at him.  
  
"What do you mean Miss Emily?"  
  
"You always look so... depressive. Like you're gonna slit your wrists or something. You should try smiling some time, it make you feel so much better. Look." I said giving him a big cheesy smile. This made him again roll his eyes. AH! He'd be so much more hot if he'd just smile once in awhile. But eh.. I didn't say that.. Er.. Uhm... anywho..  
  
"Miss Emily, I am not sad." He said walking back over towards me. "Look." He said giving me a big cheesy grin back.  
  
"Oh my gosh! YOU DID IT! You smiled!" I said jumping up and giving him a hug. Eep.. Oops.. Legolas just kinda stood there as I figured out what a dumb ass I was and let go off him. "I think I'm gonna take a walk..." I said starting to walk away as he stopped me.  
  
"You mustn't go by yourself miss. I shall go with you." Legolas said letting my arm go. 


	9. What the hell?

Chapter 9   
  
"You don't have to baby sit me Legolas..." I said trying to pull away my arm. Dang this guy has a good grip. Wonder what he does in his spare time...   
  
"There are orcs everywhere Miss." Legolas said letting go of my arm. "I do not wish to see you get hurt."   
  
"I'll be fine, we haven't seen any orcs for hours." I said as he sighed and I walked off. Why can't he understand I just need a little me time? I walked into the woods and stopped by a huge rock. As I sat down I heard a noise behind me.   
  
"Oh #%$.. I knew I should listen to the elf..." I looked around, but I saw nothing but trees. "Uhm... Legolas is that you?"   
  
"Yes Miss I am sorry to frighten you." Legolas said walking up. Gee I was glad it was him. But it kinda pissed me off too.. I mean I told him to leave me alone, yet he still follows.   
  
"Why did you follow me?" I asked as he sat down next to me.   
  
"I myself do not know.." he said looking at me. "As soon as you left, I started behind you." Well this is awkward..   
  
"So... how far away is Rivendell?" I asked trying to lighten the mood.   
  
"Not that much farther miss."   
  
We sat on the rock for awhile staring up at the stars. Even though we were in a big, dark forest, I felt safe sitting next to Legolas.   
  
"Would you like to back to our camp now Miss?" Legolas said standing up.   
  
"I guess we probably should.." I said standing up also. We started walking back towards the spot where we set up camp. I started humming a song without noticing it.   
  
"What is that you're humming Miss Emily?" Legolas said making me notice what I was doing.   
  
"Oh I was humming? I have a song stuck in my head.. It's called My Immortal. It's really pretty." I said as he smiled.   
  
"Would you sing it for me?" he asked. Oh no way.. His looks aren't going to trick me into singing...   
  
"Maybe another time." I said laughing. Whew good save.   
  
"Oh come on Miss Emily." he said laughing. Well I guess it wasn't a good enough save...   
  
"Okay.. But only a little bit... and I can't sing very well, so you better not laugh." I said nervously. Geeze what I do for this guy.   
  
"I promise." He said as I sang the first few lines of 'My Immortal'. When I finished, I looked up and noticed he was smiling. "That was beautiful Miss Emily."   
  
"Aw shucks.. Thanks.." I said blushing. We got back to camp, but our stuff was strung out everywhere. "What the hell.."   
  
"Something is not well. A sense of evil is growing in my mind..." Legolas said quietly looking around. Oh shit.. not again... 


	10. New friends

Chapter 10  
  
"Do not worry my friend, it was Orcs but they have left." I heard a voice say from my left. Okay either there's a guy over there or the trees are talking. I bet that bread he gave me was "special bread".. Damn stoner..  
  
"Estel?" I heard Legolas ask as he ran to where the voice came from. A man stood there and behind him were four shorter things. The man was tall and had dark brown hair. He looked, and smelled, like he hadn't had a shower for months. The four little men were similar to each other. They all had big blue eyes, curly brown hair, and friendly smiles.  
  
"Nae saian luume'." the brown haired guy Legolas called Estel said. There they go with that freaky language again. If it wasn't so pretty, I'd be very annoyed.  
  
"Uhm.. Excuse me... it seems as if you two know each other.. Mind sharing who they are?" I asked Legolas.  
  
"I am Aragorn." The man said taking my hand and bowing. "And your name?"  
  
"Emily." I said looking up at him. I looked behind Aragorn and smiled at the four little men. They had oddly large feet for such little people. "And you are?"  
  
"Merry." The first one said smiling. I noticed he had a carrot in his front pocket. Odd...  
  
"Pippin!!" The next in line said. You could tell just by looking at him that he was a prankster. Me and Pippin might have some fun...  
  
"Samwise..." The third little man joined in. He was carrying a pack bigger than him filled with pots and pans. I'm guessing he's the cook.  
  
"Frodo." The final short being said. Frodo.. Wow he seemed to have so much angst for such a little person. I wonder what's up with him. Probably bad family life or got teased for being short. Poor fellow. His eyes were the biggest and bluest of all. Kinda freaked me out a bit..  
  
"Well hello boys." I said smiling. These guys seemed like they had a sense of humor atleast. THANK THE LORD! After being around the anal elf so long, it'll be great for someone else to tell a joke.  
  
"Are you an elf?" Pippin said coming up next to me. I can tell I'm going to like this one.  
  
"Well yes as a matter of fact I am!" I said smiling. "But I don't know the language.. I'm new to this whole elf thing.."  
  
"Really? How can you be new? Haven't you always been an elf?" boy a curious one he is.  
  
"Nope.. I've only been an elf for about.. 4 hours." I said laughing as his blue eyes grew large. "Now Pippin.. You seem like a funny guy.." I said crouching down to be at his ear level and whispered . "After being around this elf for a day, I need some humor..."  
  
"Yes ma'am!" He laughed. See I told you I'd like this guy.  
  
"Well how about we help you clean up this mess.." Merry said as he picked up some of Legolas's things that had be strung out. After we had everything cleaned back up, we started a fire and sat around it.  
  
"Ooo does anyone have any marshmallows?" I said happily. Noticing the confused faces I guessed they haven't heard of those either. "Uh... I'll take that as a no."  
  
"Miss Emily you are very unlike any female elf I've ever met." Aragorn said smoking his pipe. It didn't smell quite like pipe tobacco though. See? I told you they're all stoners.. Pippin smiled and sat down next to me.  
  
"Well I'm not from around here.." was all I said. Didn't want the new folks to think I'm weirder than they already think I am.  
  
"Emily?" Pippin said looking up at me with his big eyes. Aww these little dudes are so adorable!!  
  
"Yeah Pippy?" I smiled back at him as he laughed.  
  
"Wanna hear a joke?" He said grinning widely. Yes! The boy has funnies!  
  
"I would love that Pippin." I said smiling as the others continued to talk amongst themselves. Although he had a different type of humor, Pippin was very funny. We spent many hours talking and laughing about the weirdest things. Finally the sun began to rise and it was decided that we should start moving again. Oh JOY! 


	11. Orcs need tic tacs

Chapter 11   
  
After about another five hundred bazillion miles of walking through wilderness , we stopped to make camp for the night. As long as I'd been around these guys.. I needed some "Emily time". Much to the protest of the males, I decided to walk around the surrounding forest a bit. After about five minutes of walking through nothing but thick brush, I came across a beautiful stream. It was so clear, you could see the rocks at the bottom. If you had walked as far as I had, in that heat, you'd understand how I smelled, so I figured 'what the hey' and started to take off my shirt. I didn't get the damn thing over my head before I heard a sound behind me.  
  
"Damn pervy hobbits..." I said to myself pulling my shirt back down and turning around. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a large, flowering bush begin to shake. "Oh crap..." Looking around, I finally picked up the biggest stick I could find and walked over to the bush. Brave time Em... As soon as I was about to whack the living sheet out of that shrub, a tiny little squirrel scurried out. Laughing at my fear, I threw my stick down. But before I could even turn around, I was tackled to the ground.  
  
"What the he..." I started to say as I turned over, but stopped dead when I saw what had knocked me over like a sack of cheese.  
  
"Where's the ring?" A extremely ugly, smelly, and all around yucky orc asked as he leaned over my body. Oooooh shit...  
  
"What ring?" I asked this disgusting piece of flesh. He was wearing what looked like a once white shirt, that was now a disturbing brown color. Hey I've seen that color before! That's the color of dried blood. Crap crap crapola on a stick..  
  
"You know what ring!" He sneered through his sharp, pointy, yellowed teeth. Guess Crest isn't too popular around these parts...  
  
"Uhm.. This is the only ring I have...." I said taking off the bright green glow in the dark ring I had gotten from a gum ball machine and holding it up.  
  
"Do you mock me?" He said getting all up in my face. Guess they haven't heard of Tic Tacs either.. Then the vomit-worthy orc got a strange look on his face and fell on top of me. Dead.  
  
"Eww! Dead orc! Dead orc! Icky ew.. Get it off me!" I said trying to get up but failing miserably. I noticed Legolas behind the moving squirrel bush with a bow in his hands. "A little help here you think?!?"  
  
"Are you okay Miss Emily?" He said pulling the dead blob off an orc off of me and helping me to my feet.  
  
"Yeah besides the permenant stench of dead orc, I'm peachy keen jelly bean." I said as I brushed off. Yeah like that's gonna help the horrifying stench of death. "Hey I have a question... Do you know why he was asking me about a ring?" 


	12. Princey makes his move

Chapter 12  
  
"Miss Emily, I'm not sure if I can explain that to you…" Legolas said looking concerned about me asking.  
  
"Oh come on! If you tell me I'll give you a cookie!" I said nudging him in his side.  
  
"A cookie?" he asked looking at me oddly.  
  
"Nevermind… just can you tell me? Pretty please with sugar and cherries on top?" I said jumping up and down like a five year old in a toy store. I needed to know dang it…  
  
"Let's go back to camp, and I'll ask Aragorn if he thinks it wise to tell you." Legolas said turning back towards the woods.  
  
"Fine meany…" I said following him. It was starting to get dark enough to see the stars up in the sky. "They're so beautiful.."   
  
"What are Miss Emily?" Legolas said stopping and turning towards me.  
  
"The stars…" I said still gazing up at the darkening sky. "Stars are something that you can always count to be there. Always up higher than any man… or elf… could ever imagine going. Shining down on you, letting you know however bad things get, you can count on them."  
  
"I know something else that's beautiful…" Legolas said as I turned my gaze at him. Yeah me too…  
  
"What?" I asked as he leaned closer. OHMIGOD he's going to kiss me!!! Just when his lips were about to touch mine….  
  
"Legolas! Miss Emily!" Pippin screamed knocking us down. Damn it damn it damn it…  
  
"What Pippin?" I asked trying not to let him see the annoyed look on my face. Legolas wasn't too good at that, he looked down right peeved.  
  
"Well it was getting dark and you two hadn't come back yet, so Aragorn told me to come look for you two." Pippin said looking from me and then to Legolas. "Oh I didn't.. interrupt anything did I?"   
  
"No, we better get back to camp." Legolas said standing up and helping me up. He looked at me with a 'we'll talk about this later' face. We walked back to camp and found everyone sitting around the camp fire cooking dinner.   
  
"Well look who finally decided to grace us with their presence." Merry said laughing as I threw a conveniently located acorn at him.  
  
"Aragorn I need to speak with you." Legolas said as Aragorn nodded and stood up. They walked back into the woods and I sat down by the fire with the rest of the guys. Pippin jumped in my lap.  
  
"I wonder what they're talking about." I asked looking into the rising flame. I knew it was probably about the ring that Legolas wasn't aloud to tell me about, but I thought it would be a good conversation starter.  
  
"I think I know…" Frodo said laughing.  
  
"What? Tell me, come on blue eyes." I said grilling him for more information. How does he know?  
  
"We, and as in we I mean myself, Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Aragorn, think Legolas has grown affection for you." Frodo said winking at me.  
  
"Uhm.. I don't think so…" I said feeling my face get red. "So what's cooking?"  
  
"Okay, we're back." I heard Aragorn say from behind me. Oh joy…  
  
"So what were you guys talking about?" Pippin said winking at me.   
  
"You're going to get it later." I whispered to him and playfully hitting him.  
  
"We can not discuss it at the moment…" Aragorn said looking around.  
  
"Riiiight…" I said rolling my eyes. I could feel eyes burning into the back of my skull. Oh crap here it goes, he's going to ask to talk to me. What do I say? AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Yeah you got the idea.  
  
"Miss Emily?" Legolas said kneeling down beside me. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"  
  
"Er… sure." I said standing up and following him to the same place him and Aragorn had gone a few minutes earlier. 


	13. How does it glow?

Chapter 13  
  
"Do you remember earlier when I told you about Sauron and the ring?" Legolas said after making sure no one else was listening. Those sneaky little hobbits pop out from no where, you can never be to carful.  
  
"Yeah, the evil dude who wants the whole world for himself." I said sighing. So this is what he wanted to talk about... Hah Frodo was wrong! Damn, I kinda wished he was right. Oh well.  
  
"Well.. I think that Sauron believes you have it." Legolas said leaning up against a tree. WHAT?  
  
"Why in the hell would he think I have it? I mean I just got here and all.. And plus, I'm to blonde to carry that much power!" I said sitting on the ground. Why would that Sauron dude think I have it? He must be more fudged up that I thought.. This place is really starting to weird me out. Dark "Lords" that want to rule the whole world with a ring. Yeah doesn't that sound kinda... missing a few screws to you? 'Let's take over the world with my bracelet! WE SHALL RULE ALL WITH THE POWER OF FAKE DIAMONDS AND SILVER!! ALL SHALL BOW TO IT'S COPPER PLATEDNESS! And they haven't have Lords and crap since the Middle Ages. WAIT this place is like the Middle Ages... My Lady, Miss Emily, Sir Ma'am my butt...   
  
"That's what me and Aragorn were discussing." Legolas said looking down at him. Sigh, he has the bluest eyes I've ever seen. WAIT no.. gotta think about important stuff.. Like this whole "taking over the world by that evil dude" situation. "That Orc, he asked you for the ring right?"  
  
"Yeah. I tried to give him this ring but he went all nuts saying I was mocking him." I said holding up my glow in the dark ring. Still glowing strong... It keeps glowing and glowing and glowing and glowing and glowing.. Alright enough energizer bunny for now..  
  
"How does your ring glow?" Legolas asked taking it and looking at it closely.  
  
"Where I'm from, they have a special material that when you charge it in the light, it glows in the dark. I don't really know what it is or how it's made, I just know it's neat." I said picking up a rock, throwing it in the air, and catching it. I missed once and knocked myself in the head, but luckily Leggy loo loo was still to entranced by my glow ring.  
  
"Amazing.." he said sitting on the ground next to me. "Here..." Legolas said taking my hand and sliding it back on my finger.  
  
"Thanks.." I answered after he put it on. But he didn't let go of my hand. OMGOMGOMGOMG.... Wait. Calm down Emily, maybe he's just out of it, and forgot to let go of your hand. Innocent mistake, no biggie, get over it girl...  
  
"Miss Emily?" He said looking up at my face. Yes beautiful? Ask me anything baby... Wait.. Ahh I can't believe this. Must not fall for hot elf.. Must not fall for hot elf... Think of something un-hot like... potatoes, or chickens. Yes chickens... Chickens not hot! Unless... they're fried, then they get hot from the grease.. AHH I'm over analyzing stuff, I must be falling for the guy.  
  
"See I told you! He loves her!" I heard a voice from behind me say. By the look on Legolas' face, I could tell he heard it too.  
  
"Uhm.. We should probably be getting back to camp." I said taking back my hand and standing up. Legolas nodded and stood up also. When we got back to camp, everyone acted like they didn't see us come up.  
  
"Oh hey Emily! Welcome back.." Pippin said looking up from the book he was pretending to read.   
  
"Hi..." I said slumping down on the ground next to him. That's twice... two times he's made a move.. Maybe the hobbits are right, maybe he does have a thing for me. Naw, not true never true. 


	14. Weathertop means OWCH!

Chapter 14  
  
"We will be stopping here for the night." Aragorn said as we climbed the cement structure "This is Weather Top."  
  
"Cool! Does it have a 5 day forecast?" I said then hitting myself on the head. "Never mind that.."  
  
"We should all rest for the night," Aragorn said ignoring my comment and handing the four hobbits swords. "Keep these close, you never know when you'll need to use them. Sorry Emily, I did not know we would encounter you."   
  
"It's fine, I'm a lover not a fighter." I said hearing snickers from the hobbits.  
  
"Legolas and I are going to explore. You five stay here." Aragorn said as he and Legolas walked away.  
  
"Ah finally, rest! We had to walk 500 miles today.." I said as an annoying song popped into my head. And I could walk 500 miles, and I could walk 500 more.. AHH  
  
"Yes Emily that does sound good." Frodo said smiling at me. Aw! He's so adorable..  
  
I woke up and noticed it was dark outside, except for a flame that Merry, Pippin, and Sam were cooking at. Frodo woke up and went crazy on it, stomping the hell outta the poor innocent flame.  
  
"Sorry..." I heard the 3 pyro's say with their heads low. Then I heard it. The sound worse than nails on a chalkboard.  
  
"Ring Wraiths..." Frodo said backing up.  
  
"What?" I said becoming worried.  
  
"HIDE!" He screamed as we all ran up to the top. I finally saw what they were talking about. Big guys dressed in black man dresses and metal. Holy shit, this is never good... I guess we didn't hide well enough, because they saw us.   
  
"Nice screamy guy in man dress.." I said as one got closer to me. I guess that wasn't the right answer, because then he stabbed me with his big, pointy sword of doom. Now I've felt pain before, but this was like nothing else I had ever experienced... Think waxing your legs hurts? Yeah.. Not compaired to this.   
  
"Emily!!" I heard the hobbits scream, as Aragorn and Legolas ran up and started to fight off the cross dressing killers. Finally they had all run off, after Aragorn lit them on fire. Burn, baby burn.  
  
"Oh...." Was the only noise I could make. Everyone came running over to me, with a concerned look on their face.  
  
"Emily! Oh no.. this is all my fault.." Legolas said bending down next to me.  
  
"She's been stabbed by a Morgul blade.. This is beyond my skill to heal." Aragorn said picking me up. "We must get her to Rivendell!"   
  
"I've been stabbed by what?" I managed to get out. 


	15. Not Your Fault

Chapter 15  
  
"Emily... wake up.." I heard a foggy voice say.  
  
"Five more minutes mom.." I said rolling over. "OH MY GOSH THAT HURTS LIKE HELL!" I screamed sitting straight up. "Ow owch... make it stop..." I said holding my hand over my side.  
  
"Emily, you're going to be fine..." I heard a male voice say. Turning around, I saw an old man in a pointy hat. Then I noticed I was in a bed with white sheets, wearing a white night gown. That means someone changed me.. Bet it was those damn pervy hobbits.. But wait.. Where was I?  
  
"Uh.. Mister... Where am I, and how do you know my name?" I asked the man as he smiled. Bet he's a stoner too..  
  
"You're in Rivendell, Miss Emily. I am Gandalf, and I learned your name from the group you were traveling with." He said pulling out a pipe and lighting it. Told you... "You were brought here after you were injured."   
  
"Injured? I was stabbed by a big, pointy sword! That's more than an injury if you ask me. That's like a traumatic event.." I said shaking my head. 'When Cross Dressers Go Bad' next on the Discovery Channel..  
  
"Your companions much wish to see you, shall I alert them that you have awakened?"  
  
"Uh, sure why not." I said as the old stoner got up and walked to the door. Opening it, I saw the guys with worried looks on their face. Legolas looked the most worried. "Hey boys, what's happening?" I said trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"Emily! You're okay!!" The four hobbits said pouncing on my bed.   
  
"Yeah I'm fine..." I laughed as they hugged me.  
  
"Good to see you well, Lady Emily." Aragorn said smiling. Legolas wouldn't even look at me.  
  
"Woodland boy, you gone mute or something?" I said smiling at Legolas.  
  
"No My Lady... I just feel great sorrow. It is my fault you were injured." He said hanging his head low. Aw! He looked so sad! I just wanted to jump up and give him a hug...   
  
"Did you tell the cross dressing men with big pointy swords of doom to attack me?" I asked as he shook his head. "Then it's not your fault! Case closed, pay the lawyer on your way out.."  
  
"I should have been there to protect you." Legolas said looking at me for the first time. Guess I have to be serious for a minute.  
  
"Can I talk with Legolas alone for a moment?" I asked as the other men nodded, walking out of the room and shutting the door. "Legolas, this isn't your fault okay?"  
  
"I believe it is.." He said sitting in a chair near the bed. I closed my eyes and shook my head.  
  
"I do not blame you for what happened. You didn't know they were coming, so there is no way you could have protected me." I said looking at him. "Will you please just forgive yourself? What happened, happened. You can't go back and change the past. You just have to suck it up and hope for a good future." Wow.. I think this is the most serious I've ever been in my life. SCARY! Call CNN, this is a headline.  
  
"You never fail to amaze me, Miss Emily." Legolas said smiling. FINALLY!  
  
"How so?" I said laughing.  
  
"No one has ever been able to make me really feel. When I'm around you, I feel almost human." He said with a small laugh.   
  
"Uh.. Is that a compliment or a putdown?" I asked looking at him with a raised eye brow.  
  
"Compliment. That is one of the few things I envy of men. They are allowed to show their emotions. Elves on the other hand, we keep everything inside." Wow, Woodland boy is deep..   
  
"You should see Dr. Phil, he'll make you cry like a little girl.." I said giggling.  
  
"Miss Emily, can I tell you something?" Legolas said standing up and walking to my bedside.   
  
"Sure." I said calmly. But inside, you know I'm freaking out like a rich lady at a jewelry store..   
  
"I..." Legolas started to say, before being interrupted by a banging on the door.  
  
"Can we come back in now?" Pippin said opening the door a bit.  
  
"I will talk with you later, Miss Emily." Legolas said bowing and walking out, as Pippin and the rest of the hobbits came back in. Third time Pippy... this calls for revenge.. 


	16. Spaz boy and Revenge

Disclaimer.. I don't own it.. Either does my friend Frank, do you Frank? shakes head  
  
I LOVE MY REVIEWERS! You guys are so niiiiice :)  
  
Tasha- Tash-ica! Your Halloween peeps aren't around are they? gulp And no you can't get to the bottom of the ocean with the Titanic people having margaritas with my good whole some peeps. Hah yes I already know what you think.. Thanks for the help babe! I'll be posting this at the vent too :)  
  
Melly- MELLY MCMELLERSON! Thanks! I hope you and Tash don't kill each other lol... Her peeps are very doomful.. Oh you're ordering me huh? Bring it on.. Lol  
  
Alatira-Intelar- Thanks! Glad I made ya giggle a bit. I'm updating now!  
  
ShadowedWolf13- Thank yooou :) Here ya go!   
  
Levanna- Yes I am a twisted person, and twisted humor is very good. I'm glad you're liking this, and there will be more twisted need to be put in a straight jacket humor to come ;)  
  
zeldagrl436- Haha thanks! Emily and pip love you too ;) Heh, and I can't kill Pippin off! Where'd the fun be in that?  
  
Crecy- Yes scary dudes in dresses are evil.. Even more so when they have a pointy sword of DOOM! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
PinkAphid- Thanks! Yeah I know they're short, makes me a bit peeved, but I start writing then I can't think of what else to write.. I'll work on making them longer :) This one is VERY LONG. The story part is over 7 pages... Whew... Oh and how did she become an elf? Hmm.. Maybe Santa was short on helpers? Haha, you'll find out later on in the story, I'm not even sure yet.. But shh don't tell.. ;)  
  
Heaven-Sent515- Thanks! Glad it made you laugh. See I'm updating now!!  
  
Lost Souls of the Angels- Hah thanks! Yeah Dr. Phil needed a crack.. That guy annoys me beyond anything.. I was thinking about putting the song that never ends in there.. Might use yours too ;) I have a few other things planned to annoy the hello out of Aragorn and Leggy-Loo Loo. Any ideas are always welcome! IM me on AIM if you have it at Jesjon87, always glad to hear ideas!  
  
Legolas-Obessesionist - Hah thanks.. Em's gonna get Pip back, don't you worry ;) Ah it shall be loverly..   
  
TrekieGreenieShannaraElfOfME- Hah thanks. Vulcan? Lost me there.. Hehe..  
  
Okay on to the story... Some of this chapter won't be as funny, I have do some stuff to keep the story moving. But there are some giggles in here... Oh, and there are going to be different points of view in this chapter, such as Emily's, and Legolas'. Oh and I don't own anything, I used some quotes from the movie, changed a bit. Sorry PJ.  
  
Chapter 16  
  
After a few days of bed sulking, I was finally well enough to get up and move around. After a much needed shower, I found new clothes in the dresser by the bed. "Oooo pretty.." I said pulling the dark purple and navy dress over my head. "Finally girl clothes!" I said looking in the mirror. Although the dress fit pretty well, it was about a foot too long. "Doesn't surprise me.."  
  
"Emily can I come in?" I heard Pippin say through my closed door. Slipping on my shoes, I walked over.   
  
"Hello Pippy." I said smiling and opening the door.  
  
"Oh you look pretty!" He said jumping up and down. "Legolas is going to really fall for you when he sees you in that!"  
  
"That reminds me Pip... would you like to learn a new way of speaking? You should always use it when you're talking to important people.." I said smiling. Ah.. Revenge can be so sweet.  
  
"Really you would teach me Emily? Oh I would love to!" He said with a huge smile.  
  
Forty-five minutes later...  
  
"Thank you so much Emily!" Pippin said as he walked out of my room. I laughed and shook my head as he ran down the hall. I saw a dark haired elf walking towards me and he smiled. He looked a lot older than most of the elves I've seen.  
  
"Hello Miss Emily, I am Lord Elrond of Rivendell. Welcome." He said smiling at me.  
  
"Hi... I'd introduce myself, but you seem to already know who I am.." I said smiling. He seems nice, not as stoner like as the rest of the group...  
  
"How are you enjoying your stay? I see you found the clothes I had put in your room." He said motioning towards me.  
  
"Oh, it's very pleasant here. I haven't been outside yet, that's where I was headed." I said shutting my bedroom door. I didn't make the bed, didn't want Elrond to get all dad on me and tell me to make it. "The clothes are beautiful. A bit long, but I'm used to it."   
  
"I'll have some shorter dresses made for you." He said laughing at the length of fabric that was bunched up at the floor. "I do wish to speak with you about something. You have been informed about Sauron and the ring I am told."  
  
"Yeah, I know all about that. And now Legolas and Aragorn believe that Sauron thinks I have it. Why would he think that, it's just, stupid."  
  
"We are having a very secret council on this matter and how to deal with it. The others are very curious about you. Will you come?" Elrond said with a serious face.  
  
"Sure. I'd love to." I said, then realizing I would probably be the only girl there. Oh well, I'll get over it, as long as they don't tell me to make the dinner or something like that.  
  
"It is tonight, I will have a servant escort you there. Do you have any questions?" Elrond said smiling again.  
  
"No, thank you sir." I said curtsying. That's what you're supposed to do for important people right? Eh well I hope so atleast. Elrond smiled and walked away. I guess it was the right thing. "Wonder what's around here anyway.." I said to myself, walking outside. I gasped at the beauty that was around me. I walked down a trail that lead to a beautiful waterfall. Sitting on the ground, I closed my eyes and smiled. This place seems wonderful, I can't believe this Sauron dude wants to ruin it all. He sounds like some of the girls at my school... Now if only I could bitch slap him and make everything better.   
  
-Legolas's POV-  
  
Emily looks beautiful today. Even though her dress is so much longer than her, it looks like it was made for her. I can't believe I'm falling for this girl. I follow her down a path and she smiles at the beauty of the waterfall. I want so much just to express how I feel, yet I know I cannot. I know not where she is from, or if she will return there. I must also have my mind focused on Sauron. Why did she have to come now? At all of the times, now in the time of pain.  
  
-Emily's POV-  
  
I felt like I was being watched. Turning around, I saw no one. Sighing I got up and brushed off my dress. "Probably those pervy hobbits..." I laughed to myself.  
  
"Lady Emily?" I heard a female voice behind me say. Turning around, I saw a beautiful Elf lady. Geeze, how could Lego like me with babes everywhere.   
  
"Yes." I answered. She seemed nice, no need to hate just cause she's pretty.  
  
"It is time." She said as I nodded and followed her. So now is the time for the council. Oh boy, I hope I don't barf or anything. Oh please Elrond, don't make me talk or anything... Please with sugar and cherries and sprinkles..  
  
"Here we are Miss." The she elf said smiling and motioning towards a circle of chairs and a rock table.  
  
"Uhm, where should I sit?" I asked and saw Elrond walk up behind her.   
  
"Sit by me, Lady Emily." He said pointing to the second seat. Soon others came to the meeting. Men, Elves, and what I was told were dwarves, soon showed up. I saw Aragorn, Gandalf, and Frodo sit down. Aragorn bowed his head in my direction and I did the same to him. Legolas showed up and smiled in my direction before quickly turning his head and sitting down. Playing hard to get huh elfy? Well two can play that game.   
  
"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old and new. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None of you can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate." Elrond said looking at each person, elf, dwarf, and wizard sitting around him. "Bring forth the Ring, Frodo." So Frodo has the ring! No wonder he's so sad all the time. Aw poor guy, he seems to sweet to have to deal with the doom of all the world.   
  
"So it is true..." I heard a man say. Standing up, I could tell he really wanted this ring. "It is a gift! A gift to the foes of Mordor! Why not use it for good! Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor. By the lives of our people have your lands been kept safe from Mordor. Let Gondor use the ring!" Geeze, this guy needs some Prozac. Calm down sparky!  
  
"The ring will answer to no one else. It answers to Sauron and him alone." Aragorn said rather annoyed. He must agree with me. Hah sit down spaz boy, you're not getting the evil ring of doom!  
  
"And what would a ranger know of such matters?" the man asked Aragorn. Oh damn that was a burn. I'd slap that boy if I was him.  
  
"This is no mere Ranger." Legolas said jumping up like a bunny. You just have to get into it don't you Woodland boy? "He is Aragorn, the son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance." Who what?   
  
"So this is Isildur's heir.." Spaz boy asked.   
  
"And heir to the throne of Gondor." Legolas chimed in quickly. Wait... Aragorn is heir to the throne, as in he can be king? Geeze I should have been more proper to him I suppose. Oh well, to late now.  
  
"Havo dad, Legolas." Aragorn said. Have a dad Legolas? Well that's an odd request.  
  
"Gondor has no king, Gondor needs no king." the man spat, sitting back down. Well he's a bitch. That's right, sit your ass back down...  
  
"Aragorn is right, we cannot wield the Ring." Gandalf added. Glad he can still think clear through all the weed...  
  
"The Ring must be destroyed." Elrond said, obviously annoyed with some of the members of the council.   
  
"Then what are we standing her waiting for?" a dwarf said, smashing his ax onto the Ring. Only the Ring fought back, smashing the dwarf's ax into many little sharp pieces of metal. Glad I'm sitting over here... I saw Frodo look at the ring and hold his head. Poor boy..  
  
"The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin by any tool or craft we here possess. The Ring was made deep in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came!" Elrond said look around. Wow he uses a lot of big words. So the dwarf is Gimli, I've learned one new name today! I should get a gold star. Don't think they care much though."One of you must do this." Wait.. What's this Mordor place?  
  
"One does not just walk into Mordor.." Spaz boy started up again. "It's black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. The evil there does not sleep. The very air you breath is a poisonous fume. The great eye is ever watchful. Not with ten thousand men could you do such a task." Well that doesn't sound like a place for a fun family vacation. Hey kids, we're going to Mordor!! We can take the Orc tour and die from poisonous gas!  
  
"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The ring must be destroyed!" Legolas said shooting up again. Uh oh, here comes another fight.  
  
"And I suppose you're the one who should do this?" Gimli said full of anger and standing up and receiving a very evil eye from Legolas. Oh it's like a Soap Opera! Okay, then where's the pregnant transvestite's lover..  
  
"What if we fail? What then?"   
  
"I will die before I see the Ring in the hands of an elf!" Gimli said as everyone started yelling at everyone. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Frodo close his eyes, then open them up with a determined look. What are you planning boy..  
  
"I will take it!" Frodo said as everyone simmered down. Dude, Frodo is brave. "I will take the Ring to Mordor, yet I do not know the way."  
  
"I will help you bear this burden, as long as it is yours to bear." Gandalf said placing his hand on Frodo's shoulder.  
  
"If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will. You have my sword." Aragorn said standing up and walking towards Frodo.   
  
"And you have my bow." Legolas said smiling and walking towards the forming group.  
  
"And my ax!" Gimli said as Legolas rolled his eyes.  
  
"You carry the fate of us all little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, Gondor will see it done." Spaz man said walking towards the group. Oh boy, they're going to have fun with him.  
  
"Hey! Frodo's not going anywhere without me!" Sam said running out from behind a bush. I giggled as Elrond shook his head.  
  
"No, Samwise, it's nearly impossible to separate you two. Even when he is summoned to a private council and you are not."   
  
"Wait we're coming too!" Merry and Pippin said running up and surprising Elrond. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face.  
  
"Yeah dawg, you need peeps with street cred, so them bitches won't be hatin' on Frodo." Pippin said as I busted out laughing. Everyone else stared in shock. "What? Did I say something wrong?"  
  
"I will explain about him later...But I have something to ask you.." I said quietly to Elrond. I whispered in his ear what I had planned. He smiled and nodded.  
  
"I would agree. Go ahead Lady Emily." Elrond said smiling.  
  
"I have come this far with you, I would not let you go now with out me." I said walking towards Frodo and the group. "If you would allow me, I will join you and help you however I can. You never know when another pair of eyes or ears will be of need." I said smiling and kneeling down to Frodo.  
  
"A woman?" Both Gimli and spaz boy said at the same time. Oh no they didn't. "Lord Elrond, you approve of such actions?"  
  
"Yes, I do believe she should go." Lord Elrond said smiling smugly. "Ten companions. So it be, you shall be the fellowship of the ring.  
  
"Great bitch, where we be off too?" Pippin said causing me to laugh again.  
  
"Pippin, wrong time." I whispered into his ear. 


	17. Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge LOVE

Disclaimer- Me own nothing but Emily. You no sue. Me happy. You happy.  
  
More good reviews! Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.. Reviews at the bottom of the chapter :)This chapter's kinda short.. Just trying to get an update since I haven't had one for awhile.  
  
Chapter 17  
  
"Are you scared Miss Emily?" Frodo asked me after the council.  
  
"Scared... why would I be scared? We're only trying to destroy a ring that's trying to be found by the most evilest person in all of Middle Earth! Who has those creepy Orcs and the cross dressing Ring Wraiths at his call... With big, sharp, pointy swords of doom.. Not scared one bit.." I said sitting down on a conveniently located bench. Why did I agree to go on this little trip again? Oh yeah, BECAUSE I'M A DUMBASS!  
  
"Don't worry Emily, Legolas wouldn't let anything happen to you." Frodo said to me with a wink. That tricky hobbit.. Starting stuff..  
  
"Oh really? What makes you think that?" I said, playing dumb. I'm going to pump this lil hobbit for information like a gas station during Labor Day. Yes I just used a simile, my English teacher would be proud.  
  
"You must have noticed that Legolas has taken a liking to you.." Frodo said as I saw who else but Legolas walk up behind him. He stood silently behind Frodo, and the young hobbit had clearly not known of his presence yet.  
  
"It's not nice to talk about someone that's behind your back..." I laughed as Frodo turned around, seeing the elf.  
  
"Oh, hello Legolas." Frodo said nervously as I stood up.  
  
"I think I'm going to leave you two alone, and go for a walk." I said give them a cheesy fake bow.  
  
"Would you like some company Miss Emily?" Legolas said as Frodo snuck me a wink. I'm going to have to get him back like I did Pippy...  
  
"No thanks, I'm a big girl." I said turning with a smile. Oh burn on him. Even though I would like to go on a walk with him into the deep, dark woods... all alone, just the two of us... roll around on the ground... Eeep erm. I mean.. Poptarts are evil. Yeah...  
  
After walking around for a bit, I saw Aragorn and a lady elf whispering to each other. So big man got a lady huh? All together now class, AWW! I couldn't understand what they were whispering to each other, but you could tell they really liked each other. Hmm, he must be getting some. Note to self, don't let him give the elf any ideas. Wait.. Maybe I should. ANYWHO back on topic.  
  
"You said you would bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people." I heard Aragorn say to her.  
  
"And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone." She said, handing him a necklace. Ooo pretty... Hey wait, you can't trust jewelry in this world, it might come back and bite you in the ass some day..."I choose a mortal life."  
  
"You cannot give this to me!" He half shouted, obviously concerned about what she was doing. See told you! Jewelry bad. Bad bad bad-a-roo.  
  
"It is mine to give to whom I wish, like my heart." She said closing his hands around it, and kissing him.  
  
"Emily!" Pipping screamed, pouncing me from behind. Hearing this made the elf lady and Aragorn turn around. Damn it Pippin... blow my cover...  
  
"I swear I didn't hear anything.. Well.. Much..." I said, glaring at Pippin. "You know, you have bad timing.." I said rolling my eyes as he helped me up.  
  
"Emily, I wanted to talk to you about something.." Pippin said, ignoring the glares from Aragorn and the lady. "I think I'm in love..."  
  
"Aw Pippy! That's great! Who's the lucky lady?" I said nudging him, now myself ignoring the couple.  
  
"Well...You."  
  
CLIFFHANGER!! Well sorta... Okay review time!  
  
Trekie- Ah now I get it! Sorry, I don't think I've ever watched Star Trek in my life.. waits for hurled objects Keep reading the story though.. :D  
  
Renegade- Heh, Pip is going to get himself in trouble one of these days! I'm updating now! Thanks for reviewing )  
Melly- I shall keep the funnies coming. Oh.. Command huh? Don't make me call the peeps up from the bottom of the ocean..  
  
Ileya- Thanks!!  
  
zeldagrl- Hah, yes Pippy does rock! Thanks for reviewing.  
  
Alatira- Thanks! Glad you thought it was awesome and funny. That's two that say Pip rocks.. Hmm.. Am I noticing a trend here...  
  
Lost souls- Haha now you have lived to see the day!! Pippin is a awesome isn't he ;)  
  
Heaven- Thanks! I'm glad to hear my story is one of a kind!!::does happy dance::  
  
xkurox- Thanks! Glad you liked it :)  
  
Xylem- I made you cry laughing?!?! YES! My mission is complete!  
  
Shadow- Hah yes Pippy did learn to talk that way.. Fun init? ::grins widely:: I'm updating now!  
  
I love reviews! Makes me write better.. Yes, yes it does... So please review :) THANKS!!SORRY I'VE TAKEN SO LONG TO UPDATE!! Soccer is a killer.. But they're undefeated!! WOO HOO!! 


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